Ha! I've Been Presented With A Very Timely Ethical Dilemma Now.

https://news.sky.com/story/drunk-raccoon-behind-liquor-store-rampage-suspected-of-other-break-ins-13482797

Nearly two decades since the great; "He of the Devil" left us. A Mouse is, finally, trying to live in this house.

I'm pretty sure it's just the one Mouse. I've seen it about four times now, on the third time I'm pretty sure the wee fella seemed to stop and fecking wave at me.

However if there's one thing I've learned from my childhood in Derby, growing up in those Victorian terraces the Midland Railroad built. It's that where you get a Mouse you pretty rapidly get a lot of Mice.

So I'm now finding myself wrestling with how to get rid of this Mouse. Obviously I've ordered him to leave of his own accord. That doesn't seem to have worked.

So now I'm considering options.

The easiest option would be a; "Glue Trap." You can still, legally, buy them at any convenience store. However I think it is now, technically, illegal to use them. With good reason. It's a strip of cardboard covered in a glue-like adhesive. So Mr Mouse walks onto the cardboard and gets suck. Then stays stuck until they die of dehydration. A pretty horrible way to go.

Another option would be poison. Exactly what types of poison are currently available on the market is something I'm going to have to go and research. However I gather most of them work by causing massive internal bleeding. Another slow and pretty gruesome way for Mr Mouse to go.

Then there is the classic Mousetrap. A spring-loaded device in which the greedy Mouse steals the Cheese. Then is, immediately, decapitated by a blunt guillotine. This is much quicker and painless than either of the above options. However it does result in rather a lot of external blood-splatter.

Of course in this new caring-sharing, hippy-dippy participation trophy era has given rise to the; "Humane Trap." Greedy Mousey is baited into the Perspex tunnel/ box. Triggering the spring-loaded Perspex gate to snap shut. Behind them, rather than on their neck. Allowing you to release the glutton whereever you see fit.

Obviously I have a preference for the Humane Trap. However they are very expensive. I've also told this little fella to leave of his own accord. He's not listened. So how can I trust him not to invite himself straight back in?! Looking at this autumn out there I could hardly blame him.

Arguably a Cat is far, far crueller solution than any trap I could lay.

However I think that Cat v. Mouse is a discussion that doesn't involve me and my opposable thumbs. Any of their cunning with adhesives, poisons or springs.

It's something a Cat brain and a Mouse brain should both be able to understand by now. Be at peace with, whichever finds themselves wanting.

Of course if I were to obtain a Cat, from somewhere equine-adjacent, specifically to battle Mice. Then offer bets on the outcome.

Then that would probably be illegal now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vw1x6LjKxVQ (Mean Eyed Cat, Johnny Cash, Sun, Official Audio).

The best bit is that the Cats they know! THEY ALL KNOW!!!!

This October/November has brought a new crop of adolescents. Exploring everything new and exciting, as far and wide as they can.

So adorable have these youngsters been that even Lǎobǎn Māo and the order of succession have paused their battles over the previously unclaimed territory behind the shed, in admiration.

Yet I'm still often finding those old bruisers sitting, politely, on my kitchen step, alongside the curious adolescents. As if just waiting for permission.

Ahh, that heady mix of law school and bare-knuckle boxing.

https://www.tmz.com/2025/12/12/driver-gets-parking-tickets-accessible-space-painted-around-car/

And that was just the locker room(!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY2CAXqNO6U (Take Me Home Country Roads, Skeeter Davis, Official Audio).