The Open Chapter Will Have To Be Finished First.

So it's perhaps fortunate that the Eurovision Song Contest has been having a terrible time of it of late.

Back in 2022 Ukraine attacked its neighbours; The Donbas Republics and Russia's Crimea Province. In a bizarre response to Ukraine's belligerency the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) banned Russia and, even more weirdly, Belarus. Something which was completely unprecedented in the history of the Song Contest. An event which was almost invented as a way to bring warring nations together to resolve their disputes through words. Or, more accurately, insulting three minute pop songs.

The EBU was unable to issue a result for the 2022 Song Contest. Due to the tradition that the Song Contest is hosted by the previous year's winner this meant that no Song Contest could be held in 2023. Quite a few of the representatives this year were involved in their respective national selections back in 2023, in some form or another. Yet were unable to perform.

There had been hopes that a Song Contest could be held in 2024. Yet Hamas' declaration of a Genocidal war against Israel saw the EBU try to cleanse any and all Jews from Eurovision. Obviously that meant Israel was disqualified. 

It also meant that The Netherlands was disqualified. For daring to be represented by a Jew; Joost Klein. Specifically a Hamas supporter with press accreditation claimed that organisers forcing her to be in such close proximity to a Jew caused her to experience intolerable discomfort; His presence was threatening to her. In what felt like an immersive performance art piece, offering commentary on the behaviour of Hamas supporters at demonstrations across many EBU member nations at the time. Along with many US universities and colleges.

Unlike nations which are signatories to the Rome Statute (1998) the EBU was under no obligation to do anything about lying Hamas fanboys with press accreditation. Yet in a World where nations which are obligated to do something about it aren't the EBU decided to take action. Again they, bizarrely, decided to punish the victim, rather than the perpetrator. So The Netherlands was disqualified. Something else which was completely unprecedented in Eurovision history.

After multiple, successive, failures the Song Contest tried to get back on track in 2025. Returning to the EBU's headquarters in Geneva, Switzerland. Unfortunately Switzerland then decided to move the Song Contest to Basel instead. Creating a widespread and understandable concern that the EBU would screw up again, continuing its run of being able to hold a Song Contest.

This year Austria was represented by the song; "Wasted Love" performed by J.J. Primarily a seemingly very popular question of whether it's worth putting any more effort into a relationship with something which has become nothing more than an echo chamber for anti-Russian, pro-Hamas Fascists.

If the EBU had been able to hold a Song Contest in 2024 then it is likely it would have become part of that year-long, coordinated global effort to liberate the US from the Biden-Harris Regime. Despite the EBU's failure that global effort was successful. Handing Donald Trump as clear mandate to end Hamas; from its root to its tip, along with every branch. Alongside facilitating an end to Ukraine's belligerency.

Unfortunately the US has a very long Presidential transition period. So while Donald Trump was gifted his mandate in early November 2024 he didn't actually become President until late January 2025. 

In a final act of hatred the Biden-Harris Regime used the last days of the transition to force Israel to surrender to Hamas. Although that formal imposition has expired Israel has given up on any meaningful attempts at defeating Hamas. Instead simply going through the violent motions in a frozen conflict. A NATO brand; "Forever War." In an effort to fool people into thinking they haven't surrendered to Hamas

An original song is eligible for Eurovision at any point between the September and the March before the Song Contest. However they tend to be submitted December through to February. The latest entry this year was by Georgia who submitted their song; "Freedom" in mid-March 2025. The Trump/Zelensky comedy show didn't begin until the first weekend in March. Two weeks really isn't enough time to put together a Eurovision entry.

Rather typical of 2025 entries Australia was represented by the song; "Milkshake Man" performed by Go-Jo. This was just him flirting with a large audience of gay men. However it was done in the spirit of a mutually shared joke, rather than exploitative Queer-Baiting. So aside from acknowledging that Benson Boone exists there was absolutely no substance to it.

Amid the unprecedented rash of bannings we now seem to be entering a new generation of the Eurovision Song Contest. One where it is nothing more than gay men flirting and sharing funny, yet silly, jokes with each other. Rather than a mass participation event allowing Europe to renegotiate its Social Contract. Addressing the big issues affecting the continent.

So this year there weren't really many topics, let alone themes. Germany was represented by the siblings Arbor & Tynna with the song; "Baller." Rather like the journey of one Mr Adolf Hitler they're actually from Vienna, Austria. Their Father is a Hungarian born and highly talented Cellist who performs with the Vienna State Opera. When you're scouring the Internet to find the exact details of his immigration journey. In order to see how it compares to the immigration journeys of Hungarians who fled Soviet suppression of the 1956 Hungarian Revolution. Then you know you're really struggling for material to work with.

Obviously Ukraine's belligerency did come up. Sweden was actually represented by an act from Finland; KAJ with the song; "Bara badu baslu (Just Sauna)." They're part of a Swedish speaking Finnish community, the result of Sweden's colonialisation of Finland during The Northern Crusades in the 12th Century. The Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth attempted to capture Sweden and its colonies during The Great Northern War (1700-1721). Due to Swedish maritime raiding tactics this is sometimes referred to as; "The Swedish Deluge" or simply; "The Deluge." Exactly the sort of thing that (western) Pacific Palisades could have done with back in early January 2025.  

If there was any main theme it was the issue of Plagiarism.

It is a strongly held social convention rather than an actual rule that at Eurovision you can only talk about Eurovision. So if you want to discuss something outside of Eurovision it needs to be referenced in a Song Contest entry. Meaning that you will often see similarities to other acts, songs, TV shows, movies and output of the Entertainment Industry in Eurovision acts. Go-Jo's crotch-grabbing, Benson Boone style flares, for example. This is actually the opposite of plagiarism. It's an attempt to acknowledge someone else's work. The Song Contest equivalent of citations and footnotes.

However disputes over plagiarism have certainly existed within the Song Contest and the wider Entertainment Industry. They intensified with the invention of; "Sampling" during the; "Brit Rock" era of the 1960's and have exploded as Hip-Hop/Rap has come to dominate pop music. We're still waiting to see if Sony's Columbia Records will provide a release date for my thoughts on; "Musical Concrete."

Iceland was represented by VÆB (Vibe) who look like an exact replica of Jedward (John & Edward Grimes) who represented Ireland at the 2011 & 2012 Song Contests. A play on the strong, historical links between Scandinavia and Ireland. The song; "RÓA (Row)" is an almost note-for-note copy of the popular 2017 Israeli song; "Hatunat Hashana (The Wedding of the Year)" by Itay Levi & Eyal Golan. A play on my forced marriage to Rihanna and attempts to replicate it with Miley Cyrus. As a non-Jew Selena Gomez is now engaged to the Jewish Benny Blanco. If their Social Media is anything to go by Selena Gomez seems to be getting a crash course in secular American Judaism.

Obviously Israel complained to the EBU that Iceland's entry was not an original song, released between September 2024 and March 2025. While it never seems to hesitate to ban Jews on this occasion the EBU allowed Iceland to be the judge in its own cause (Judex in causa sua). Almost exactly like how UN Courts such as the ICC and ICJ are being allowed to judge whether the UN body UNRWA is committing Crimes Against Humanity, contrary to the Rome Statute (1998) in its deep and widespread support for Hamas.

Funnily enough. Iceland found itself to be innocent. Exactly like how the UN keeps finding UNRWA to be innocent. Refusing to look at any documentation that would prove otherwise. All of which serves to prove the importance of the Natural Justice concept of; Nemo judex in causa sua (No-one can be the judge of their own cause).

2025 marks the anniversary of Luxembourg's victory at the 1965 Song Contest with the song; "Poupée de cire, poupée de son (Wax doll, rag doll). Performed by France Gall but written by Serge Gainsbourg. Father of frequent Lars von Trier collaborator Charlotte Gainsbourg. It explores how young plastic popstars are used as puppets by hidden songwriters. An appropriate topic for a contest which is, primarily, a competition amongst songwriters.

Britain won the 1967 Song Contest with; "Puppet on a String" performed by Sandie Shaw. Which seems heavily inspired by Luxembourg's 1965 win. It certainly plagiarised the 1964 song; "Il faut attendre l'amour" by Zarko Roje. Luxembourg's 2025 entry; "La poupée monte le son (The doll turns up the sound)" performed by Laura Thorn is, obviously, heavily inspired by the 1965 entry. To the point it even relies on hidden French songwriters. Inviting discussion over whether it is significantly musically different enough to constitute an original song. While seeming to remind Britain that nations are free to take as a long a sabbatical as they feel is appropriate.

France were represented by the song; "Maman (Mother)" performed by Louane. Having become a Mother herself it is intended as a continuation of the 2015 song of the same name she wrote to her dead Mother. Again inviting discussion over whether it is significantly musically different enough to constitute an original song. It plays about with Austrian composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's; "Twelve Variations on Ah vous dirai-je maman." Which played a large role at the 2022 Winter Olympics/Paralympics held in Beijing, China. However as with the 2008 Summer Olympics/Paralympics held in Beijing, China some people may have been distracted from that.

Malta were represented by Miriana Conte with a song that was originally titled; "Serving Kant." "Kant" being a Maltese word meaning; "Song." So she would have been serving song. However it is also a play on the derogatory slang term used in Drag Culture; "Serving Cunt." An acknowledgement that actual women like Mariana Conte will always make for more convincing women than men in dresses.

Unfortunately "Cunt" is really top of the list of words you can't say on British TV. So after reading my coverage of in the issue in relation to the 2025 Super Bowl Britain's BBC plagiarised my work and complained to the EBU. On this occasion the EBU allowed Britain to be the sole judge of Malta's cause. Forcing Malta to change the title of the song, ruining its chances.

Meanwhile Sweden's entry is absolutely full of Finnish swear words. However they're only on Finland's list of words you can't say on TV. KAJ are an established and well known act in Finland. So any Finnish parents tuning in would know what to expect.

As usual Britain was trying to appoint itself leader of the community of people who don't know who they are, where they are or what's going on. US popstar Katy Perry has certainly faced accusations of both Plagiarism and Queer-Baiting in the past. Her career has been on a distinctly downwards trajectory of late. She also performed at the British Queen's premature Platinum Jubilee concert in 2023. I'd imagine Britain would want to explore any possible connection between those events.