Yeah. I Noticed That At The Time.

I did not have the best of days on March 11th (11/3).

Despite the twin parties of the Oscars and, finally!, finishing a six week gym cycle which had started back in 2023. I had to get up super early to find that rarest of things in Britain these days - an NHS Dentist. In order to sort out a wisdom tooth I broke the previous week, whilst eating soup.

While I was doing that my father discovered that he couldn't start his car. Meaning that I had to learn about and source a jump starter - a lithium ion battery pack you can use to jump start a car. As we needed that five minutes ago I also had to activate an Amazon Prime subscription, with next day delivery. 

Depending on your perspective March 11th also marked the start of Ramadan. Like Amazon Prime subscriptions Ramadan lasts for a month. So I, weirdly, ended up getting an Amazon Prime subscription for Ramadan.

Having paid for unlimited delivery I also got new work boots and curtain rods. Super exciting.

https://twitterwithbraincells.blogspot.com/2024/03/i-think-weve-finally-achieved-peak.html

The jump starter arrived the next day. Just enough time for the jump starter not to be needed. All laboratory tests indicate that it does work. However, in a perverse way, it would be nice to see it in action.

Since then this Amazon Prime Subscription has been sitting there. Wasting money. Obviously it also came with a lot of really good TV and movie streaming options. However even that seemed to be mocking me. Cruelly reminding me of the fact that I don't have time to watch TV shows, let alone movies.

Obviously I did make time to watch Season 3 of; "The Marvellous Mrs Maisel." Arguably the Sunburn & Sandals phase wasn't Barbie's finest. However having to make the effort to watch it, as if it was work, certainly ruined it for me. Admittedly the penultimate episode was rather amusing to watch. However having to stay up until 5am to do so meant it felt a lot less funny the following day. Through every moment of the hungover carpentry.

So I decided to use the last little bit of the Amazon Prime subscription to pick up all of the stuff that I'll need to over the next few months. Yet is so dull I can't even be bothered to go to the shops to get it.

Obviously it's a constant battle. However my father and I seem to have reached an agreement. That if I'm going to take all this time off from my job. In order to maintain his house. Then I will do it for free. I will draw the line at doing it at a loss. He will pay for materials. My new work boots are simply amazing. The sole is attached to the upper by something other than gaffer tape.

So I ordered some Fungicidal wash. To clean the Fungus and Moss off the brickwork and paving. After the Winter everything always needs a good clean. It's actually the same Fungicidal wash I got my father to buy for me to clean the Black Mold out of this mother' flood damaged house. I was saving him money there, at expense to my health. It's actually intended for external use. Cleaning Fungus and Moss off brickwork and paving. Not that it makes much difference. Provided you're not actually stupid enough to drink it through an N95 mask.

I also ordered a tablecloth for the kitchen table. A wipeclean PVC one, more to protect the wood from heat than anything else. I wanted something off-white yet had to order beige. The beige arrived looking distinctly off-white. That's about as happy or excited as I can get about a tablecloth.

One of the more interesting items I ordered was weedkiller. A product description which I think, more-or-less, explains exactly what I was ordering it for. What makes it so exciting though is that it contains Glyphosphate.

The UK retail market for weedkiller is pretty much a monopoly. Controlled by Bayer with its; "Roundup" brand. This used to contain Glyphosphate. However in 2020 Bayer lost the largest civil lawsuit in US legal history. Being order to pay US$10bn in compensation to people who developed Cancer due to the Glyphosphate in Roundup.

Prompting Bayer to remove Glyphosphate from Roundup. Replacing it with Acetic Acid. Which smells strongly of liquorice and immediately burns the leaves of any plant it touches. As even the mildest of acids would do. Household vinegar is also Acetic Acid.

So as an enthusiastic tobacco smoker I ordered a weedkiller that still contains Glyphosphate. Amazon made it really easy to break the monopoly. However I still feel like I've done something really subversive. Like going on the Dark Web to procure some dangerous substance. At the next suburban party some may boast of having Cocaine. Others may boast of having Marijuana. I shall boast of having Glyphosphate.

The last thing to arrive was a tenon saw. Literally 10 minutes before I needed it. Which made my hungover self feel like I was in an Amazon commercial. In which the driver hands the customer the package. The customer rips the package open with their teeth and immediately puts the product to good use.

They say that time is a luxury. So I encouraged my father to splash out on a digital wall clock for the sitting room. Those of a stalkerish persuasion may know that on one of the walls in the sitting room I have two World maps. One political, one natural. Sitting side-by-side. The wall clock now sits neatly on the International Date Line.

If Japan is still upset about Oppenheimer. Then they must not've seen how John Constable obliterated them. Loaded with nothing but hay.

Radio controlled this clock not only displays the time. It also displays the temperature, the date and the phases of the Moon. Or a prediction thereof, according to the Gregorian calendar.

Providing me with two reminders that I really need to cancel my Amazon Prime subscription.