Okay. Several Glasses Of Wine Have Dictated I Take Pity On You All.

https://www.jpost.com/breaking-news/article-748383

https://news.sky.com/story/flight-to-amsterdam-delayed-after-humberside-airport-security-breach-false-alarm-12914150

https://www.tmz.com/2023/07/04/woman-freaks-out-airplane-flight-sees-something-not-there/

Recently my mothers went on holiday to Spain's East coast, when one of their friends has a holiday home.

Aboard their flight back to the UK was a sort of university rugby club over-65's reunion tour. During the flight one of the group experienced what the Irish would describe as; "A mild hangover."

An IC/TU unit Doctor aboard declared that he wasn't quite dead yet. So they'd best land somewhere soon. Rather than just hiding the corpse in the toilets at the back of the plane.

The plane did make an emergency landing in southern France. Where, apparently, Ancient Greek was the only language shared between the assorted medical professionals.

Due to Lockerbie relate reasons you can't have a passenger's luggage aboard a flight without said passenger. So this one passenger being removed meant that all the passengers had to be deplaned. Then all of their luggage had to be deplaned. Then all of the onwards travelling passengers and their luggage had to be reloaded.

This all took so long that before the flight returned to the UK the guy was out of his coma and texting his drinking buddies who, apparently, didn't need to put their cell phones into airplane mode.

I gather the highlight of the holiday was a visit to a restaurant run by longstanding Ukrainians. 

As one of my mothers' ex-girlfriends (guess which one) speaks Russian along with, I assume, my reputation. This led to them being invited to the restaurateur's home for a private meal with all the recent Ukrainian 'refugees.'

My response to that anecdote was;

 "Isn't the national dish of Ukraine barbecued Jew."

 "Or are they still doing that in the ovens."