It's Another Vinaigrette About My Paternal Grandmother.

Alongside making the Church of Scientology's security team cry.

https://twitterwithbraincells.blogspot.com/2023/05/im-sure-it-was-never-intended-as-contest.html

https://english.news.cn/asiapacific/20230513/6d13eaf09aee4a5daeb090da9921a81e/c.html

One day she was out shopping on her mobility scooter. A car hit it, breaking off the nose, as it was pulling out of the supermarket carpark. The one Miley Cyrus knows so well.

Although it was just an accident passers-by called the police. Who arrived in the form of a van with a training sergeant and two probationary, rookie officers. One male and one female.

As no crime had been committed the sergeant decided the best course of action was to put my grandmother and her mobility scooter into the van. Then drive them the short distance home.

From the outset the male rookie took this really condescending tone with my grandmother. Adopting almost baby-talk as he spoke to the dotty old dear.

Although I wasn't there. I suspect my grandmother then spent the journey subjecting him a very astute stream of verbal abuse. The sort of stream of verbal abuse that would bring even an Israeli Drill Sergeant to tears.

By the time they arrived home the male rookie was still using the same condescending tone.

So my grandmother smacked in the jaw with her walking stick.

At which point the training sergeant intervened. Essentially saying;

"Up until now this has been absolutely hilarious. He's got to learn sometime."

"However if we're going to have to invalid him before he's even qualified. Then there's going to need to be paperwork.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VFf6434lto&pp (Original Nuttah, Shy FX Ft. UK Apache, Gathering, Official Audio).

Of course there's an even better example;

That time we had a 20 minute full-on, blazing, screaming argument about an electrical outlet.

Whether it was a standard electrical outlet. Or one of those fancy ones. With a LED to tell you whether it's on or not.

The fact we were both standing there looking at the electrical outlet at the time should tell you.

That's not really what we were arguing about.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lo9_zJLKtUc&pp (Switchblade, Roni Size, Mode, Audio, Topic).