A Church Of England Scientist Is Stranded On A Desert Island.

He thinks to himself;

"I'm a good Protestant. God has blessed me with his grace."

"If I pray every morning and every night. God will save me."

So every morning he prays; "God. Although I am stranded on a desert island I believe that you will save me."

Then every night he prays; "God. Although I am stranded on a desert island I believe that you will save me."

After several weeks a ship appears.

It pulls alongside. The Captain rolls down his window and says;

"You alright there?! You look like you need saving."

To which the CoE 'Scientist' replies;

"There is no need. I pray every morning and I pray every night. God will save me."

After another few weeks of our scientist praying, morning noon and night, a helicopter appears.

The pilots lands, rolls down his window. To reveal he's got a big white beard on him, just like that Cpt Birdseye. He says;

"You alright there?! You look like you need saving."

To which the CoE 'Scientist' replies;

"There is no need. I pray every morning and I pray every night. God will save me."

Then after another few months of praying, morning, noon and night, another ship appears.

It pulls alongside. The Captain. Looking a bit like the last one, with a big white beard on him. He rolls down his window and says;

"You alright there?! You look like you need saving."

To which the CoE 'Scientist' replies;

"There is no need. I pray every morning and I pray every night. God will save me."

Eventually. The CoE scientist dies and arrives at those Golden Gates of Heaven. Where, immediately, he confronts Saint Peter;

"I believe I am a good Protestant. I prayed every morning and every night. Why didn't God save me?!"

To which Saint Peter replies;

"Well. He sent you two ships and a f'cking helicopter!"

"Now off you pop."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDdh9WS6E8g (Amazing Grace, Dropkick Murphys, Official Audio).