The Stars Have Aligned. The Universe Has Decreed.

I must now ruin a perfectly good joke. By explaining it.

Florence Pugh appeared in the 2018 BBC mini-series; "Little Drummer Girl." Based on the 1983 novel of the same name by actual British Secret Intelligence Service (MI6) officer John le Carre. Not his real name.

Florence Pugh's "Charlie Ross" character is recruited by Israel's Mossad intelligence service. To infiltrate paramilitary camps in Lebanon. Which in 1979 were being used to train various groups of that Cold War Arc of Resistance.

So groups like the Palestinian Liberation Organisation (PLO). The Red Army Faction (Baader-Meinhoff). The Provisional Irish Republican Army (PIRA). The Irish National Liberation Army (INLA). The Kurdistan Workers Party (PKK).

Needless to say. Shade is far from the worst thing that the PIRA have ever thrown at the Israeli Defence Forces (IDF).

Obviously this is the sort of topic that would interest me. Particularly in 2018, when I was trying to utilise those old alliances. To defeat the former Biden regime's One Muslim Friend; The Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL). Along with associated groups such as Al Qaeda.

In an interview to promote the show. Which I skimmed, rather than read. Florence Pugh seemed to talk exclusively about the nude and sex scenes she'd done for the show.

Which just struck me as a bit odd. Given the nature and subject matter of the show.

Little Drummer Girl was the BBC's big Christmas/New Year's show. Which they hoped to sell globally. Particularly to then profitable US market.

Little Drummer Girl was the follow up to; "The Night Manager." The BBC's 2016 adaptation of the John le Carre novel of the same name.

One of the big talking points at the 2016 Oscars was the US Federal Communication Commission's (FCC) absurd "No Nipples Rule." How, through the dominance of US Social Media companies that has become the de facto global rule.

Although not appropriate for Oscar nomination a much talked about movie at the 2016 Oscars was; "The Night Porter" (1974). A film you mistake for the BBC's adaptation of The Night Manager at your peril.

What makes the FCC's No Nipples Rule so absurd is that it is binary. It determines whether content is sexual or not based, solely, on whether there is a Female Nipple Present (1) or a Female Nipple Absent (0).

So you can show a whole range of sexual content. Provided you don't show a female nipple. So all highly depraved gay male sex is allowable. Much to the delight of massive sleazes like Ben Wishaw and Russell T. Davis.

What other regulatory regimes do is take a more qualitative approach. Considering the context of the content in its entirety to decide whether it is sexual or not.

There is a specific scene in The Night Porter that provides a good example of this.

It is shot from the perspective of a Nazi documentary camera. Filming Jews as they are stripped naked on arrival at a Death Camp. So it includes a whole range of nudity. Male, female, young, old. Attractive, ugly.

However the scene is clearly not sexual. It's not even particularly shocking. It's just dispassionate, matter-of-fact.

That is until the camera lens, the viewers perspective, falls upon the fully nude Charlotte Rampling. Playing "Lucia," a girl of 13 or 14. Then the scene clearly becomes very sexual.

If you are  professional filmmaker, someone like Lina Esco. Then I assume you would be able to talk for hours. About how that change in visual tone is achieved. On a technical level.

It is with all that in mind that I started watching Little Drummer Girl.

At the time it is set. The Western Feminist campaign dictated that women refuse to wear bras. I don't know why.

Even so. It seemed strange that Florence Pugh's nipples seemed to be poking through her top in every shot of every scene she is in.

To the point it stopped being sexy. It just started being distracting. As your mind wandered to whether the South Korean director, Park Chan-wook, was attempting to troll the FCC.

To find out what they found so offensive about women's nipples; The colour or the shape?

Did they go so far as to use "Stunt Nipples?"

Or, does Florence Pugh just have really weird nipples?

Thanks to her appearance at the 2022 Fashion Week in Rome, Italy. Wearing a Valentino gown. We now, finally know.

Florence Pugh doesn't have weird nipples.

Obviously I'm not allowed on US Social Media anymore. Even when I was I didn't follow Florence Pugh.

Although I gather that's a point she's been trying to make for a while now.

Yet has been prevented. By US Social Media companies adopting the FCC's absurd No Nipples Rule. 

Now let's all take a moment to honour that joke. Its four years of dutiful service.

While we're on the subject. Can we talk about the weirdness of the online coverage of the Netflix mini-series; "Pam & Tommy."

This tells the story of the trashy, tabloid romance of Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee. Including the release of their 1995 sex tape. One of the first ever celebrity sex tapes.

It was made by and shown on the online streaming service Netflix. Which, like US cable networks, isn't bound by FCC regulations. So it contained lots of trashy, gratuitious, explicit nude and sex scenes.

In covering the show lots of online publishers wanted to print pictures of these nude and sex scenes. However, due to the FCC rule becoming the de facto rule, they pixelated all the female nipples.

Despite a big part of the show being the make-up and prosthetics they used. To turn the fairly normal size breasted Lily James. Into the cartoonish, surgically enhanced Pamela Anderson.

So those weren't female nipples. They weren't even human nipples. They were definitely stunt nipples.

And yes. I am planning to trademark the term; "Stunt Nipples™."