The Tale of How I Came to NOT Meet Diane Abbott
I won't tell the full thing.
After all it's only early evening. And it begins with someone going all choppy-chop in a House of Worship.
Although, to be fair, if you'd sat through one of those sermons. You'd probably think it was a multicoloured purple portal to hell too. Or something.
In the days, weeks and months after something like that all seven shades of shit suddenly descend upon you. To show how much they care about the community.
Particularly if your black grandfather was a bit of a lad. Picking up trash in Grenada.
Not that I really know anything about that. I'd been at the football.
I think it actually was Wolverhampton Wanderers. Or possibly Leeds United.
Either way it was a good 'un. I got nosed up to the front. Which at 15 is frankly illegal.
As I returned, somewhat concussed, my panicked mother dumped this random black child on me. She said; "You're babysitting."
To which I replied; "Only if you pay me in beer."
So we sat there for a few hours playing video games. As I got progressively more drunk we were both trying to work out who the hell he was. And what the hell he was doing there.
Eventually it dawned on me.
His mother is basically the Home Secretary.
So Britain, on December the 12th (12/12/19),
You too have the opportunity to experience that sense of terror.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=qCE3CLJCWgU
After all it's only early evening. And it begins with someone going all choppy-chop in a House of Worship.
Although, to be fair, if you'd sat through one of those sermons. You'd probably think it was a multicoloured purple portal to hell too. Or something.
In the days, weeks and months after something like that all seven shades of shit suddenly descend upon you. To show how much they care about the community.
Particularly if your black grandfather was a bit of a lad. Picking up trash in Grenada.
Not that I really know anything about that. I'd been at the football.
I think it actually was Wolverhampton Wanderers. Or possibly Leeds United.
Either way it was a good 'un. I got nosed up to the front. Which at 15 is frankly illegal.
As I returned, somewhat concussed, my panicked mother dumped this random black child on me. She said; "You're babysitting."
To which I replied; "Only if you pay me in beer."
So we sat there for a few hours playing video games. As I got progressively more drunk we were both trying to work out who the hell he was. And what the hell he was doing there.
Eventually it dawned on me.
His mother is basically the Home Secretary.
So Britain, on December the 12th (12/12/19),
You too have the opportunity to experience that sense of terror.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=qCE3CLJCWgU
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