Now. How Is This For; "Tempting Fate."

I have flat feet. As a result of those flat feet I suffer a lot of sprained ankles. To the point that I long ago decided it would be economically viable for me to invest in my own pair of crutches.

However I never followed through on that decision. When you have a sprained ankle you don't want to be going through the bother of having a set of crutches delivered. When you don't have a sprained ankle you don't want to imagine a future in which you will ever have a sprained ankle again. Despite all the evidence to the contrary.

The other day I was walking past a shop that was handing out crutches for free. So I took a pair home.

About a week later I sprained my knee.

Crutches are of little use to a sprained knee. Lifting your foot off the ground only forces the knee carry the weight of that foot, and a bit. 

And by; "Shop" I definitely don't mean; "Skip." As anyone with a working knowledge of the UK Theft Act (1968) would describe that as; "Theft by Finding."

Of course if I ever were to find myself facing such a charge I might point out that for any one of these aches and pains I could call a 'free' NHS ambulance to take me to hospital. Where I could waste the expensive time of the Triage Nurse along with the expensive time of the Receptionist. Only for them to send me to waste the expensive time of the Radiographer to take an expensive X-Ray. At which point we would all call in an expensive Orthopeadic Surgeon to concur;

"Yep. That's just a sprain."

In lieu of kissing my boo-boo better they would then give me a pair of crutches to take home and keep.

I might also point out that I once sat through an entire local Amateur Dramatics production of George Orwell's "Animal Farm." In which all of the front legs of the animals were provided by the local hospital's Orthopeadics department.

Of course I don't have to raise either of those points. As I definitely don't mean; "Skip." I certainly have no intention to; "Permenantly Deprive."

I even seem to have gone to the trouble of publishing a notice in my official gazette.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJCeCWFffVA (Animal In Man, Dead Prez, Official Audio).